Relationships.....

I started this post a couple of weeks ago when I was having relationship issues... and now as I am in the midst of another relationship issue.... I am back at it.... a few things for singles out there. (mostly I write this because I find it helps me.... forces these things to the forefront of my brain when my heart is trying to get in the way.... I think I want my head to take control, but my heart is not giving up easily...)



1. "Be Focused -- I say this a lot when talking to single ladies…but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not settle. The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 that God is able to do more than we could ever imagine…that’s HUGE! I have seen WAY too many ladies settle, hoping that they could “fix the dude up!” Ladies–God didn’t call you to fix him…only Christ can do that. If you are in Christ then you are the King’s daughter…and you do not need to settle for the boy who can’t accept responsibility…you need to wait for the man who is WILLING to fight for your heart." (by Perry Noble, and can be found here.) Let me add that YOUR HEART IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR! I promise! I struggle regularly with this fact, but it is worth fighting for and if he not fighting for it now while you are dating, he is not going to fight for it later either!



2- Don't get all emotional and stay mentally balanced. I struggle with this one like no other!! ( I care about people too much I think... I am already an emotional person and wear my heart on my sleeve.... I over analyze and think... etc.)



3- Be honest-- with your self and the person you are dating. If things are not going as you hope or think they should be willing to be real and honest and say it. If in your head and/or heart you know its not right, then be honest and say it. Holding your true feelings back and not being honest only leads to frustration, anger, hurt and contempt of the other person, when they may not even know they are doing anything wrong.



4. Be Consistent-- Be the same person you are when you are together as you when you are apart. Also be consistent over the course of the relationship... I have recently heard of the honeymoon phase of dating where, not to single guys out, but typically guys stop actively pursing the girl. Not acceptable-- GUYS... you are fighting for her heart... keep fighting for it even when you have won it. Dating the girl and pursing her never ends.... even if she is the one you marry. As perry says here..."Treat her the same no matter what–THAT is an issue of character."

5. Wait for the guy to pursue you....I struggle like no other with this one. I don't know a one girl out there who does not want to feel the love and attention of guy.... BUT.... "Girls chase boys while women wait to be pursued." Go check out that link... Perry nails that post with 4 things single girls should know. Single guys can check out THIS link to 5 things a single dude should know.

6. Break off the relationship when you know that is what you are supposed to do. This post on I/we should break up is the gut check many of people need. We are all guilty of staying in relationships longer than we should. We are guilty of trying to make the relationship work. But at some point we have to just say this is not God's will and end it. Its a hard step to make, but will make each of us better off in the long run.


Finally... a little recap that were some tweets that Shane Duffey did on advice for single people... just bullets... but a very good set of straight forward advice...


I know this post is full of links to Perry Noble's blog.... and though I don't always agree with Perry, his posts on relationships are always right on. Sometimes they make me feel empowered other times they make me feel guilty... BUT they are always helpful. I hope they help you too!