Hope... and a TV show

Sunday night my mom and I were watching the TV show Brothers and Sisters on ABC. I watched it regularly for the first season or two, but I had not seen it in several years. For those who have never seen the show, it centers around the Walker family (mom Nora and her 5 grown children, as well as William Walker, the dad of the family who died in the first episode) One of the major plot lines in the movie is how the family had a seemingly perfect family but since William's death, his bad business and adulterous affairs surface. During Sunday's episode mom Nora was speaking with one of her children (Tommy to be specific) about William and how she wishes he would just stay buried but his past keeps coming to the surface. Tommy says in return, that it is so hard to let go of the hope of the person he thought he was. That line hit me like a ton of bricks.

Lately I have found myself holding on to the hope that different people in my life were the people I thought they were. Its a very hard thing to let go of, at least for me. Maybe because I am an optimistic person who sees the best in everyone or maybe because I wear my heart on my sleeve. But I think it is especially hard when, in the past, I have seen glimpses of what I thought that person was/is. In this realization that I was putting hope (and thus emotional energy and thought) into the hope of who I thought these people in my life were. I realized my hope was not solely in Christ and that I was expending unnecessary emotional energy on something that is not worth that energy. My hope can not be in any person living and walking around on this earth. My hope is in the Lord.

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." -Psalm 25:4-5

"But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." -Romans 8:24

SC Bar Foundation Gala

On Thursday March 11, 2010 my sister was honored at the SC Bar Foundation Gala. She was honored as one of two South Carolina Pro Bono Attorneys of the year! I am so proud of her! It was wonderful to be able to be in Columbia and see her accept her award!

My sister (in blue) and her committee!

My sister and Carmen... great friends from Law School and Carmen was

the one who nominated my sister for all her hard work

with the Richland County Bar Association!

The Family!

(minus Chad.... he was there not sure why not in the picture!)

The Wonderful Women of my Family!

Gala honoring Dr. Stephen Hefner

On Friday March 12, 2010, The Richland School District 2 Education Foundation hosted a gala honoring Dr. Stephen W. Hefner for his 36 years of service to Richland School District 2, 16 years of it as superintendent. During his years in the district, the school system has grown exponentially, he has been the recipient of numerous awards and honors, and has truly helped Richland Two become a "World Class" school district.

It was a fun evening to see faces I had not seen for years and catch up with former teachers, community members, and to celebrate the extraordinary career of a wonderful public educator.

Dr. and Mrs. Hefner with Lisa Sisk and Dr. Julia Boyd, co-chairs of the event!

My Parents!

I LOVE mother!! She and the others worked so hard to plan such a wonderful gala!

Me and Ms. Linda... she took care of the Hamm and Hefner girls when Channing and I were babies and is still a WONDERFUL part of our lives!

Channing (Hefner) Rice, Joe Harris (a wonderful Richland 2 Graduate working in DC)

and Megan Hefner

The Hamm and Hefner Families

(minus Sissy and Chad who had to go to another event when this one was over)

Me, Ms. McKeown, and Willie. Ms. McKeown is one of the greatest public

educators you will ever meet!!

Me and my parents. Mom and the other memebers of the planning committee

worked tirelessly to put this once-in-a-lifetime event on. They did a great job!

Me and one of the greatest friends a girl could ask for and one of the most wonderful men in my life, my dear friend Willie Lyles! Willie is also a product of Richland 2

Schools and is doing great things in DC! :-)

Inspirational thoughts in 140 characters or less...

I am a twitter person in addition to my blogging habits. Recently, I have really begun to notice how much I enjoy seeing what others are thinking and feeling. Below are a list of tweets that really caught my attention from some pretty amazing people. Some are people who I know personally, some are Godly men and women who I have heard of but never met, and others are complete strangers who I have to "know" through blogging and twitter.

1. @JohnPiper Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psa
37:4) Health? Job? Spouse? Yes. Or Better.

2. @PerryNoble Praying I live a life driving by HIS conviction and not my convenience.

3. @debraParker thinking about the way Jesus loves, dangerous, whole, wild, and true...

4. @candiPshelton we need friends who will always have our back but not always take our side.

5. @RickWarren Praise & Criticism are TESTS of character. You path both tests the same way:
humble yourself to God and show love to others

6. @PerryNoble When making plans with God... make them BIG... and then be prepared to have him BLOW YOUR MIND

7. @mmwilli22 "God's reckless grace is our greatest hope" -T. Keller

8. @mattchandler74 When the illusion of control disappears we become men and women of prayer

9. @Jeremytreat5 "For without You, what am I to myself but the leader of my own destruction?" Augustine

10. @lolly1440 "Some people never find it, some only pretend, but I just want to live happily ever after every now and then." -Jimmy Buffett

Lessons learned.... singledom and relationships....

The past 5-6 week have been very different than I thought the first month of 2010 would be. BUT.... I feel like I have learned so much about myself, people in my life, and most importantly my faith, that I don't think I would change it if I could. I ended 2009 and started the first week of 2010 very happily in a relationship with a I guy I thought was different and special. He was my first real relationship and I will admit that I fell for him more than any other guy before. Well... one thing led to another and we are no longer together. I had hoped to remain friends and that may or may not happen... but none the less, it was a good learning experience and something fun, even if it only lasted a short time.


The following are some lessons learned from the past few weeks that over the course of many conversations several of my friends have said I should blog about.....

1.Single, dating, or married, your top priority and focus has to remain your faith and your personal relationship with Christ. Its a mistake I am most definitely guilty of... I let things and people distract me from staying focused on Christ and living my faith fully. No relationship will be totally successful without a focus on Christ.

2. If you cant be totally content with yourself being single, there is no way you can be content in a relationship. If something about singledom causes stress, anxiety, etc, there are probably some bridges that need to be crossed between you and Christ. Only once those bridges are crossed (between YOU and GOD) can you be content in a relationship. I am not saying that it is an easy thing to do or accept. I struggle daily with it. HOWEVER, I know that despite this season of life that I wish was different, I know God has me where I am for a reason that only He can make clear.

3. Be totally honest and real with yourself and the person you are in a relationship with! For me, the first half of the relationship was perfect.... he pursued me, made me feel special, he called, texted, and emailed me regularly (and without prompting) and I thought it was everything I wanted. But when things started to changed, I sort of tricked myself into thinking and even saying that it was still great and even incredible. That did nothing for me (as I was lying to myself....) and did nothing for him (because I was not being real or honest with him either...). I found a quote that said "when you don't tell people what you really think, you are not being kind. People cannot change and grow if all they get are insincere niceties." I am by no means saying be mean or cruel. I am saying that two mature people in a romantic relationship can say things in such a way that while it may not be exactly what the other wants to hear and may cause some initial pain, it is a necessary openness and an act of truly caring that is totally necessary! It is so critical to be totally real and honest with one another at any point in a relationship but seems to be even more critical in a new relationship where two people are really trying to get to know each other. I will say I know this is hard... I struggle with saying things to people that I greatly care about face to face and would often text or email my concerns when I should have called or talked to him face to face about it. In the future I will be sure to be totally real and honest and will do everything in my power that those hard and potentially emotional conversations are done face to face.

4. Do NOT settle! Since God can do immeasurably more (Eph 3:20) and there is no reason any of us should ever settle. This is particularly true in a relationship. In his perfect timing, HE will bring whoever He has created specifically for you into your life! (isn't it amazing that walking around somewhere in this world is the person God -- creater of ALL things-- has someone who HE created in HIS image just for each one of us!) And that person will be more than you or I can ever hope, dream, or expect! Until that person comes into your life, do not settle for Mr or Miss RightNow when He has Mr. or Miss Perfect in store! Its hard being patient, but I know for a fact it will be worth being patient for!!!

5. Don't make someone your priority if you are only their option.

6. Pray. Pray. and Pray some more. Pray for the relationship you are in and that you are following His will and for His guidance. And if you are single, pray for the unknown person that God has planned for you. Pray that who ever that person is is growing in Him, pray that his/her heart is being prepared to be joined to yours. Pray that you are being prepared to be the girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband He has created you to be.

7. Have no regrets. You live and you learn. Pray and ask for forgivness when needed. Learn from the experience. as they say... Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow.

Sarah Boyd

I have been SO lucky the past few days... I kept Sarah Boyd on Friday when she got out of "school", spent all day with her and my sister on Saturday, and then she came to my parents house for the day yesterday while my sister went into the office since Chad is out of town. It was SO nice to get to see her so much!!!

Here are a few pictures of her from yesterday playing in the front yard at my parents! I cant believe how big she is getting and how grown up she is acting!!!!

Lion Chasing

I recently finished a book by Mark Batterson titled In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. I started it early last semester, but when school got crazy, it got washed to the wayside. Well... I started it again and recently finished it. VERY good book. I would highly suggest it.


The book is based off of a passage of scripture from 2 Samuel 23:20-21 where Benaiah chased a lion down into a pit. Despite the slippery ground and snow, he caught and killed the lion. It is possibly one of the most courageous and yet somewhat audacious acts in scripture but is often passed over. Benaiah goes on to be chief of Solomon's army for his courage.

Batterson uses this passage of scripture to suggest that we all face lions on snowy days in our lives. However... to live the life that God has planned for us, there are times when we have to face the lions in our life and chase them. If God can do immeasurably more than we can ever imagine (Eph 3:20) , we have to trust that the God-sized risks He is calling us to are the path we need to take. Batterson suggests that when we take the time to look in the rear view mirror of life "you'll see that God has purposely positioned you everywhere you've been-- even when it seemed you'd taken a wrong turn." As I think back through my life... Gods hand has been in it all. Right there.... even when I felt like I had not only taken a wrong turn, but was totally off the map and path.

The following was posted on Mark's blog recently. He calls it the Lion Chaser's Manifesto. It has been resonating in me recently... maybe because its the new year, maybe because my life as I knew it changed recently... who knows and well... its really not important why. But... I hope that maybe you will find some sort of courage or strength to chase the lions God has put in your life as it has me.

"Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Set God-sized goals. Pursue god-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies. Criticize by creating. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshiping what's right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion."