Learning, Living, and Loving Life: One Girl's journey to know the God she loves.....: school

Tonight has been a bit of stressful night.... life, school, people... all had me stressed, frustrated, worried, overwhelmed... add which ever other word you think fits. About 9or 930 I left school to come home and keep plugging away on my paper because a recent turn of events in life had me stressed and focusing on a paper at school just wasn't happening. I got home and did the usual of letting the dog out, taking a really hot shower to focus back on school work and then settled in to write this paper. Lately I have been listening to Pandora's Christmas station however after listening to that for a few minutes, I just wasn't feeling it and switched over to Lala. Lala is where I have most of my country music (I know.. weird, but sometimes I really just want to listen to country) and some of my contemporary christian/praise/worship music. So I set Lala to play my whole collection... 200+ songs in the queue. The first few songs to come on were country songs... fun... tap your toes.... fine and worked well as background noise. But, I should probably forewarn you that I put all my music (country and christian) in the queue and that I had had it on random... so it was not playing in any order I put it.... it was playing on its own. So, then the songs switched.....

Its funny how God works.... First song that really caught my attention-- From the Inside Out by Hillsong United. Great great song with great great lyrics! "A thousand times I've failed, Still your mercy remains. And should I stumble again, Still I'm caught in your grace. Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame. My heart and my soul, Lord I give you control, Consume me from the inside out..." That basically was what He first used to smack me across my face-- I have to be consumed with Him from core of who I am, heart and soul. When I let other things consume my life, I am just setting myself up to be unhappy and setting myself up to faill to see Him and His glory and goodness in my life. After that song, it switched to the next one. He is still working in funny ways... The song to come on was It Is Well. "Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul....Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul." I love that song. I kept restarting it and listened to it a few times before letting Lala move on to the next song. Next song... Who Am I by Casting Crowns. "I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And you've told me who I am. I am yours." So at this point I am thinking that no matter what happens with school, life, etc, it is all good because its all part of God's will and and no matter what I may do and no matter how I may fall short, I am His child and it is well. Good.. my evening was starting to get so much better because of my renewed focus on what really matters.

Its funny how God keeps working.... The next song to come on was Francesca Battistelli's Free to Be Me. "At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream. A wars already waged for my destiny, but You've already won the battle and You've got great plans for me. Though I can’t always see ‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender... Got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy, but on Your shoulders I can see, I'm free to be me. When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out; My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow. But things don't always come that easy and sometimes I would doubt ‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender... Got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy, but on Your shoulders I can see, I'm free to be me... Sometimes I believe that I can do anything yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring. But You look at my heart and You tell me that I've got all You seek and it’s easy to believe...I'm free to be me" So still getting better! Its crazy how great God is! I must be His all-consumed child, I am free to be the person He has created me to be, and no matter what life throws my way or how far short of His glory I fall, I am his and it is all well with my soul. He was not finished though.... He threw in Jars of Clay's Two Hands... just to make sure I got his message. "I use one hand to pull closer, the other to push you away. If I had two hands doing the same thing, Lifted high, lifted high... And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation of our souls and if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts we’ll lose control and it feels like giving in. It feels like starting over. It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming. It feels like a brand new day. Open your eyes... because if I had two hands doing the same thing....Lifted High Lifted High" Yes. I am getting this message. Very clearly.

Finally, as I am typing this... Go Tell It by Lee McDerment just came on..."Go tell it on the mountain, Over the hills and everywhere. Go tell it on the mountain....." Its funny how He brings amazing peace and comfort when you least expect it but most need it. Its amazing how He puts you right where He wants you and not where you expected to be. Its funny how God works......

I can say with assurance... I got His message. and I'm still thinking.... its funny how God works....

This year (and this semester for that matter) is flying by..... where is the time going!?!?!

Seems like just yesterday I was celebrating new years by banging pots and pans on the front porch by myself because my family was already asleep....

It seems like just yesterday I was spending my valentines day with two of my closest friends.... having what turned out to be the greatest valentines to date!

Spring was my best friend's wedding... fast forward to the summer... starting off with Sarah Boyd's baptism, lazy days at the lake, family vacation to the mountains, my big trip across the big pond....starting my last year of school...Fall. I met an incredible guy who keeps totally rocking my socks off and has me excited to see where our relationship goes..... Sarah Boyd's First Birthday (and Chad's 30th Birthday).

Now here we are. A little more than two weeks from Thanksgiving (one of my favorite holidays because I have SO much to be thankful for!), 3 weeks from my final review, 4 weeks from exam week... and then Christmas break! Where has this semester gone? It is flying by!

They say time flies when you are having fun... I am clearly having a LOTS of fun! I am so blessed to have incredible friends and family who I totally dont deserve but love more than I can ever let them know, I have this great opportunity to pursue my dream of being an architect, and I totally love living each day full on and all out!!! Life is great!

Here are a few recent pictures....Sarah Boyd's birthday party!! In the next few weeks I will be doing different things and get more pictures! :-)