Inspiring words in 140 characters or less

I am a social networking person... I have Facebook, I have twitter, I have LinkedIn... You name it I have it. BUT... the one thing I enjoy the most of all of these is Twitter! I love the words of encouragement, inspiration, and faith that various people tweet. The following are some of my favorite tweets from the past few weeks

"We are not "Pro-Life" if we fail to support the foster care system. Caring for the born & neglected is much harder than opposing abortion." -@robbieseay

"Jesus offered thirsty people a drink; most people don't want a speech, they just want a straw" -@BobGoff

"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." _ Galatians 5:6b" -@lolly1440

"Joy is a quiet gladness of heart as one contemplates the goodness of God's saving grace in Christ Jesus." John Calvin"- @mattchandler74

"When we live by the power of God rather than our flesh, we don't have to strive for power w/our words. 1 Cor 4:20" -@cory_marie

"still stewing over this @clayton_king quote: "it's not about trying harder, it's about surrendering more." -@mcdzl

"Show up before you speak up. People wanna see you live the gospel before they hear you preach the gospel. Matt 5:11-16" -@mandisaofficial

"Expect the unexpected...dare to venture into the unknown...learn to live magnificently in the tension between here and not there yet..." -@christinecaine

"There are ZERO limitations for the person who is motivated by the WORD of God and filled by the SPIRIT of GOD!!!" -@perrynoble

"You won't ever find a perfect church...perfect worship...a perfect christian..or perfect teaching...you will only ever find a PERFECT GOD" -@christinecaine

"you CANNOT abandon the pursuit of JOY and still accomplish the will of God. - John Piper' -@bcoop

"The "peace that transends understanding" (Phil.4:7) comes from trusting God fully in situations you don't understand." -@rickwarren

"JOY is the result of serving God's purposes, from his perspective, by his power, & for his glory." -@rickwarren

"God specializes in the element of surprise! u never know when or where He will invade the reality of your life with a holy surprise." -@markbatterson

"9 times out of 10, God doesn't want 2 change your circumtances. He wants 2 use your circumstances 2 change you!" -@markbatterson

"To grow a mature faith u must learn to trust that God is working in other's lives even when you disagree with them."-@rickwarren

"The only people who will not give people another chance are the one who fail to realize how many changes Jesus has given them!" -@perrynoble

Hollywood Romances... or a lack there of. (PART 2)

This is a continuation of the Hollywood Romances post.... if you have not read the first post, go back and read this! That will make this more clear!

So continuing from the previous post....

One of the first things I found to be totally backwards in the majority of today's dating relationships is our first and extreme focus on the physical (and I am not just talking sex). We focus first on the physical so much so, we give ourselves physically to others before there is any commitment and any knowledge of each other emotionally, psychologically, and most importantly, spiritually. In one book, the author calls this type of "lets has a physical relationship before I really know you on the inside" (one where we have more intimate moments in a relationship where both parties are not committed to one side) as being emotionally promiscuous.(Illian, 59) We start with the physical and move towards the deeper knowledge of each other after the fact. It seems we care more about what people look like on the outside than who they are on the inside. And more important than who they are on the side, we seem to have all forgotten to get to know who they are spiritually and their personal relationship with Christ. My personal faith in Jesus Christ is the core of who I am. It is the single most important aspect of my life. However, in my last relationship, I never got to know the guy I was dating spiritually... ever. And he never got to know me spiritually. I let him saying on one of our first dates (in the Rockaways parking lot none the less for those of you in Columbia) something along the lines of "yeah, I raised Baptists and I was baptized in elementary school." I let that one statement be all it took for me to say in my head "yeah he is a Christian so I can date him." Rarely did I see the outward expression of that faith. For the most part, I did not see that faith in the way he talked to me or treated me, and we never once prayed together (not even blessing a meal). Instead, I took the road by saying to myself "he says he is a Christian so that's enough for me." I found out the hard way... that's not remotely enough. No offense (and this is not aimed at one person in particular but just a general comment from something I read recently), but saying you are a Christian makes you a Christian about as much as standing in a garage makes you a car. There is a huge difference between just accepting Christ so He will save you from hell and someone who accepts Christ and is radically changed because of his or her personal and intimate relationship with our Creator. That radical change is seen in actions, thoughts, the things we say, and the way we treat people. That is the critical difference between what I had and what I want. In addition to just the basic (yet incredibly important) aspect of having a spiritual relationship with someone you are dating, a further issue can arise and be seen down the road in later stages of the relationship. Men are called biblically to be the spiritual leaders of their homes and family. If he is not being the spiritual leader in dating, he is not capable of doing it in marriage. As my pastor at church said "Single ladies... if the dude isn't running after Jesus now then he's NOT going to be able to lead your family! (AND... if you are making excuses for him you probably know what you need to do." (He said something similar to this in his actualsermon on Sunday, but he also mentioned it on his blog here.) I can say without a doubt, I knew what I needed to do and felt convicted and God telling me to break off the relationship long before I ever did. Its not easy, but we often have to do things that are not easy in particular when it comes to dating and relationships. (and let me add... if you know you need to end a relationship with someone, do it as soon as possible. Waiting only makes it harder- and I can say that from personal experience!)

Another aspect of relationships that was pointed out in both books I read and that I found was true in my own personal experience was that I was trying to fill a void in my heart that the guy I was dating was never, ever meant to fill. There are certain voids that only God can fill. Blaise Pascal, a French mathematician, physicist, writer, and Catholic philosopher, said it best when he said "There is a God-shaped void in the heart of man which can not be filled by anything except God." Its true. If you are not totally sold out to God and HIS will for your life (including being single or not) and you are not totally content in who you are in HIM, no relationship will ever work or completely satisfy you. Before you or I begin any relationship, we need to be sure we are not trying to find a relationship to fill some void that person was never meant to fill. Get right with God and all of the other things will fall into place. There are seasons where we are meant to be single, even when its the last thing we want. We have to know that God has us in that season for a reason and it will be something exceedingly beautiful in HIS time. (Ecc 3:1-8, 11). Sometimes, even when it is hard, we have be still and know that HE is God and wait for his perfect timing and let HIM fill a void only He can fill. (Psalm 46:10)

One thing that I realized after the fact (funny how hindsight is always 20/20) about my last relationship was that there was an issue of being vulnerable when it came to our hearts. I am one to wear my heart on my sleeve, but I don't think that is the case for most men. I do think there is a difference between recklessly throwing your heart around and carefully putting it out there. In the book Undressed, the author says we have "no resource more precious than our hearts, which is the Holy of Holies, the place where God himself resides." But, as the author goes on to say, love is all about being vulnerable. (from a quote by C.S. Lewis) Unfortunately, being vulnerable and potentially getting a broken heart (even though it will just be temporary) is incredibly important part of any relationship. I love how the author says "If you date, you may get your heart broken. But if you don't, you may find yourself in a far more tragic position- you heart may become unbreakable." (Illian, 29) You have to guard your heart and protect it from unnecessary vulnerability, while carefully putting it out there after a true relationship has been formed. He says "We must learn to be thoughtfully vulnerable, not recklessly available in our dating relationships" (Illian 29)

Another hindsight 20/20 thing I discovered was how I was looking for certain characteristics in a partner... but now I see how they were not really biblically based and not really the Godly characteristics I want. I was looking for a good guy who was a Christian but the specific character traits I was looking for were not really important. I love how the Bible tells us quickly in Galatians the kind of characteristics that any potential guy (or girl) we date should exemplify. Straight forward- The Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.) Its important that anyone you date, and especially someone you would consider marrying, have these characteristics. And... not just one of them, but all of them. I love how in a humorous way Jason Illian discusses this- he says "If the person you are dating doesn't exhibit ALL of them, not just one or two-- I mean, who wants a man who is good but has no self control?! --eject immediately!" (Illian, 36) He is so right! But what is more interesting to me is how this amazing author goes on to discuss how the word character goes back to the Greek word meaning"to engrave or carve, as if in stone." Amazing... these character traits should be etched on our hearts.(Illian, 36) I know there are all times were we are not feeling so kind, and we are not feeling so patient... We all are imperfect. BUT these traits should be something we see on a very regular basis in the person we are dating. (and don't forget that not only you are looking for those characteristics, but so are they-- so we each have to exemplify and show these characteristics in our own lives).

More to come later or tomorrow!!

Pits, Joseph and Job.

I have learned that Christian life isn't one of sinning less (as we all fall short of His glory) and it's especially not one spent trading visible sins for those easier to hide. It's a life spent everyday exposing more fully the depth of our sin so that we may know the depth of the Christ's love. (adapted from something my friend Jonathan said to me once) I think about the fact that in 2 Corinthians 12:9, it is made very clear that His power is made perfect in my weakness... ("But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.") Let me reiterate-- HIS power MY weakness. I fall short of his glory... every single day of my life. I am nothing without Him. and when I turn from Him or make Him something other than my top priority, things fall apart. I am nothing more than a "pauper to God's scandalous grace."

Early last fall it is safe to say that I started to find myself in a pit. At first it was a pit of my own making from not seeking Him and then was dug deeper by my own sins and bad choices and made worse by another person. Someone vs. a something can make a pit a very complicated, emotional, and spiritual battle. Biblically, a pit can be seen in several different lights as the result of several different things (Genesis and the pit Joseph was thrown into by his brothers, the pit in Job where Job struggled with blame, in Psalms where we are pulled out of a pit by God to stand on firm ground.) The pit I was in at that point was not something I realized I had even started to fall into. All summer I had for the first time in a very long time finally felt real, amazing spiritual growth and was loving every second of life. But then... fall came around, my studio work was beyond stressful, my quiet times became non-existent, my spiritual growth had plateaued and by October I had let a new relationship take priority over my own personal walk and relationship with God. That was not any fault of anyone but my own. Past experience told me even then that when times are stressful and free time short, that is the time that I most need to spend with the Lord. I didn't. At that point I did not realize that I was beginning my quick decent into a pit, but I was. Until recently it is fair to say that I did not realize the full scope of the pit I was existing in or how the pit changed from October to now. I am a good actress... I can act completely happy while inside I am not. I can say the right things, do the right things, and have everyone (including myself at times) fooled. By January and even more so the past few weeks the pit really started to be complicated by new pit-causing problems and my sinking in the pit was more rapid. It had taken a huge emotional and spiritual toll. While the grudges and anger I carried felt like I was getting back at and even with the things and people who hurt me, the reality was that me "jabbing [my] fingers into the guilty one's chest" was really only "jabbing more holes in [my] pit walls and throwing that much more dirt on [my] feet." Satan is cleaver in how he works. "He is a master of using our own insecurity against us. He knows that deep in our hearts we're so fragile and injured by life..." Isaiah 42:22 says that pits are places where we feel stuck and trapped. Psalm 40 tells us pits are not nice places to be and describes them specifically as slimy, muddy, and miry. Its a place where, unless specific action is taken, we sink deeper and deeper (Psalm 69:2) A pit is often a situation where "without windows we're convinced we have nowhere else to go..." and is "so poorly lit we can no longer see things that may have been obvious to us." We can try to make them more manageable and better looking... but in the end, its still a pit and "as soon as the rain comes, it all gets soiled" as every pit has a dirt floor. We need to look up... that's our only hope but "we're often too focused on our sinking feet to crane our necks to the blinding sky." I have finally stopped focusing on my sinking feet. Finally seen what my friends and family saw in December. Finally let go of hope in people and put all my hope in the Lord. I finally have given total and true forgiveness to those who have hurt me. I felt like forgiving was weakness. Beth Moore said something that totally shook me and was my break through too. She said:

"My breakthrough came when I realized that nothing took more divine power than forgiveness, and therefore nothing was more powerful than forgiving. You will never use your own volition-- the force of your will-- more dramatically than when you agree with God to start forgiving. Forgiveness is not about feeling. It's about willing. No stronger force exists. Forgiveness was the force that kept Christ, by His own submission, nailed to that cross. He could have taken Himself down in a split second. He could have called upon every arch-angle in the heavens, armed and ready. Had He said the word, the seas would have swallowed the earth in one gulp. Forgiveness is not passivity... it is power... Nothing demands more elbow grease than thrusting your arms forward and giving God the solitary right to vengeance."

She is right. It is power. It is the first powerful step to get out of the pit. Its the first powerful step to move forward. It is a critical step that is one of the hardest things to do because you have to forgive someone (in my case someone I deeply cared about) for something they may or may not even know hurt (and may or may not care one way or the other that what they did hurt). I have to think about the story of Joseph in Genesis 37:23-25. Joseph is thrown into a pit by his brothers-- his own flesh and blood, and they could have cared less that they did it and even sat there listening to him while they ate a meal. It says "When Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped off his robe, the robe of many colors that he had on. They then took him and threw him into the pit. The pit was empty; there was no water in it. Then they sat down to eat a meal..." Through the course of scripture we find out that not only did Joseph not to toss blame or get angry (against his own brothers who wrongly tossed him into a pit). Instead he opted to "view God as entirely sovereign and ... was the life of him." (not the death of him) Joseph knew, just as I have come to realize, that while it was intended to harm, "God intended it for good..." (Genesis 50:20) and He knew each little detail and exactly how it would all unfold.

The more I think through scripture, I think about Job-- someone who endured such loss and suffering. He could have easily blamed the circumstance on himself or even on God. Its only human nature to start to blame yourself. I surely have done that. Recently-- Today. I was reminded just this evening that I am only responsible for one person- myself. and while I'm not be solely to blame for the pit I find myself getting out of, I have to focus on the fact that I cant blame myself. I cant have that sickening urge of self-blame where Satan starts to play "mind games with [my] conscience so that for the life of [me], [I] can't seem to distinguish between those areas where [I am] guilty and those where [I am] innocent." This is not to say that I have never done anything wrong because I surely have. The question I have forced myself to find the answer to is not "have you done anything wrong?" but "have you done the wrong that fits the pit?" I think it is fair to say, I am still trying to answer that-- I know the answer in my head, but my heart still wants to blame myself in so many of the emotions and feelings. A friend of mine told me just tonight that I have to take ownership of my feelings and emotions because "they are what they are, but the one thing they are not is irrelevant. We experience them for a reason. They communicate something to us either about ourself or others." I am in the process of sorting through my totally relevant feelings to answer the question that will get me even closer to being out of the pit.

Finally, the other realization I have come to this evening is I often care more about what people in this world think than what God thinks. I would rather lose myself to make someone else happy. I would rather be miserable so one person will acknowledge my existence or be my friend. Despite what Galatians 1:10 says, I still often seek the approval of people walking around in this world than the ONE who matters. As a child of the Sovereign King of the universe, I am his daughter--I have come to realize I deserve to be treated as such both by others and, maybe most importantly, by myself. I cant make excuses for other people's actions. I cant hold on to hope of who I wanted someone to be. And I cant be my own worst enemy. A friend of mine and I had a soul searching, deeply personal conversation this evening about life. As always, he was straightforward, totally real, and reminded me of exactly what I needed to hear. He reminded me I am still here, still breathing. God created me in HIS image and since I am still alive, God still has something wonderful planned. I was reminded that God forgave me the first time I confessed my sins and wrong doings... but because of my own emotional baggage, I still carry the guilt of sins that God has long since forgotten. When he left my house, I was listening to music and Jonny Diaz's More Beautiful You came on. The chorus goes "There could never be a more beautiful you. Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through. You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do so there could never be a more beautiful you"

I am getting out of the pit... I am close. So Close! I am not going to buy the lies that the world has lead me to believe, I am not going to be tricked by the disguises that I am lead to think are true, and I am not going to jump through the worldly hoops that come from people, relationships and situations. Instead.... My focus is going to be on God and fulfilling the purpose HE has planned for me.