"Have no fear for giving in, have no fear for giving over. You'd better know that in the end, its better to say too much then never say what you need to say again. Even if you hands are shaking, and your faith is broken, even as your eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open... say what you need to say." - Say by John Mayer
So I have realized over the past 4 days one key thing that I think I knew and practiced before, but now realize how completely critical and important it is-- When times are good or bad, highs or lows-- no matter the situation, you have to say what is on your heart to be said. You only get one shot at life and often one shot at those hard conversations that seem so scary and overwhelming yet are the exact conversations that need to happen. I am not saying run out and be mean, harsh, or critical. Don't unleash your own hurt and pain on another person just for your own emotional jollies. Instead, really think through what your head, your gut, and your heart are saying... and take the time to really processes those feelings. Think through how you want to say it and exactly how things are said will affect the other person. BUT with careful thought and consideration, say what is on your heart to say... be nice about it, but real, honest and totally open. You just might be surprised and things just might go better than you had expected. Making that phone call or talking to that person face to face may be overwhelming, scary, and even seem impossible but in the end.... its better to have said what is on your heart to say and to have said "too much than never say what you need to say again...."
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Relationships.....
I started this post a couple of weeks ago when I was having relationship issues... and now as I am in the midst of another relationship issue.... I am back at it.... a few things for singles out there. (mostly I write this because I find it helps me.... forces these things to the forefront of my brain when my heart is trying to get in the way.... I think I want my head to take control, but my heart is not giving up easily...)
1. "Be Focused -- I say this a lot when talking to single ladies…but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not settle. The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 that God is able to do more than we could ever imagine…that’s HUGE! I have seen WAY too many ladies settle, hoping that they could “fix the dude up!” Ladies–God didn’t call you to fix him…only Christ can do that. If you are in Christ then you are the King’s daughter…and you do not need to settle for the boy who can’t accept responsibility…you need to wait for the man who is WILLING to fight for your heart." (by Perry Noble, and can be found here.) Let me add that YOUR HEART IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR! I promise! I struggle regularly with this fact, but it is worth fighting for and if he not fighting for it now while you are dating, he is not going to fight for it later either!
2- Don't get all emotional and stay mentally balanced. I struggle with this one like no other!! ( I care about people too much I think... I am already an emotional person and wear my heart on my sleeve.... I over analyze and think... etc.)
3- Be honest-- with your self and the person you are dating. If things are not going as you hope or think they should be willing to be real and honest and say it. If in your head and/or heart you know its not right, then be honest and say it. Holding your true feelings back and not being honest only leads to frustration, anger, hurt and contempt of the other person, when they may not even know they are doing anything wrong.
4. Be Consistent-- Be the same person you are when you are together as you when you are apart. Also be consistent over the course of the relationship... I have recently heard of the honeymoon phase of dating where, not to single guys out, but typically guys stop actively pursing the girl. Not acceptable-- GUYS... you are fighting for her heart... keep fighting for it even when you have won it. Dating the girl and pursing her never ends.... even if she is the one you marry. As perry says here..."Treat her the same no matter what–THAT is an issue of character."
5. Wait for the guy to pursue you....I struggle like no other with this one. I don't know a one girl out there who does not want to feel the love and attention of guy.... BUT.... "Girls chase boys while women wait to be pursued." Go check out that link... Perry nails that post with 4 things single girls should know. Single guys can check out THIS link to 5 things a single dude should know.
6. Break off the relationship when you know that is what you are supposed to do. This post on I/we should break up is the gut check many of people need. We are all guilty of staying in relationships longer than we should. We are guilty of trying to make the relationship work. But at some point we have to just say this is not God's will and end it. Its a hard step to make, but will make each of us better off in the long run.
Finally... a little recap that were some tweets that Shane Duffey did on advice for single people... just bullets... but a very good set of straight forward advice...
I know this post is full of links to Perry Noble's blog.... and though I don't always agree with Perry, his posts on relationships are always right on. Sometimes they make me feel empowered other times they make me feel guilty... BUT they are always helpful. I hope they help you too!
1. "Be Focused -- I say this a lot when talking to single ladies…but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not settle. The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 that God is able to do more than we could ever imagine…that’s HUGE! I have seen WAY too many ladies settle, hoping that they could “fix the dude up!” Ladies–God didn’t call you to fix him…only Christ can do that. If you are in Christ then you are the King’s daughter…and you do not need to settle for the boy who can’t accept responsibility…you need to wait for the man who is WILLING to fight for your heart." (by Perry Noble, and can be found here.) Let me add that YOUR HEART IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR! I promise! I struggle regularly with this fact, but it is worth fighting for and if he not fighting for it now while you are dating, he is not going to fight for it later either!
2- Don't get all emotional and stay mentally balanced. I struggle with this one like no other!! ( I care about people too much I think... I am already an emotional person and wear my heart on my sleeve.... I over analyze and think... etc.)
3- Be honest-- with your self and the person you are dating. If things are not going as you hope or think they should be willing to be real and honest and say it. If in your head and/or heart you know its not right, then be honest and say it. Holding your true feelings back and not being honest only leads to frustration, anger, hurt and contempt of the other person, when they may not even know they are doing anything wrong.
4. Be Consistent-- Be the same person you are when you are together as you when you are apart. Also be consistent over the course of the relationship... I have recently heard of the honeymoon phase of dating where, not to single guys out, but typically guys stop actively pursing the girl. Not acceptable-- GUYS... you are fighting for her heart... keep fighting for it even when you have won it. Dating the girl and pursing her never ends.... even if she is the one you marry. As perry says here..."Treat her the same no matter what–THAT is an issue of character."
5. Wait for the guy to pursue you....I struggle like no other with this one. I don't know a one girl out there who does not want to feel the love and attention of guy.... BUT.... "Girls chase boys while women wait to be pursued." Go check out that link... Perry nails that post with 4 things single girls should know. Single guys can check out THIS link to 5 things a single dude should know.
6. Break off the relationship when you know that is what you are supposed to do. This post on I/we should break up is the gut check many of people need. We are all guilty of staying in relationships longer than we should. We are guilty of trying to make the relationship work. But at some point we have to just say this is not God's will and end it. Its a hard step to make, but will make each of us better off in the long run.
Finally... a little recap that were some tweets that Shane Duffey did on advice for single people... just bullets... but a very good set of straight forward advice...
I know this post is full of links to Perry Noble's blog.... and though I don't always agree with Perry, his posts on relationships are always right on. Sometimes they make me feel empowered other times they make me feel guilty... BUT they are always helpful. I hope they help you too!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEARS FRIEND!!!
Happy New Years, Friends!!!!
I hope everyone rang in 2010 with family and friends!!! Hoping and praying for a year full of God's many blessings to each of you!!!
Merry 2010, Happy 2010... Happy New Year!!
oh... and I will get a post up at somepoint about the happenings of the holidays....just not tonight!
I hope everyone rang in 2010 with family and friends!!! Hoping and praying for a year full of God's many blessings to each of you!!!
Merry 2010, Happy 2010... Happy New Year!!
oh... and I will get a post up at somepoint about the happenings of the holidays....just not tonight!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Its funny how God works....
Tonight has been a bit of stressful night.... life, school, people... all had me stressed, frustrated, worried, overwhelmed... add which ever other word you think fits. About 9or 930 I left school to come home and keep plugging away on my paper because a recent turn of events in life had me stressed and focusing on a paper at school just wasn't happening. I got home and did the usual of letting the dog out, taking a really hot shower to focus back on school work and then settled in to write this paper. Lately I have been listening to Pandora's Christmas station however after listening to that for a few minutes, I just wasn't feeling it and switched over to Lala. Lala is where I have most of my country music (I know.. weird, but sometimes I really just want to listen to country) and some of my contemporary christian/praise/worship music. So I set Lala to play my whole collection... 200+ songs in the queue. The first few songs to come on were country songs... fun... tap your toes.... fine and worked well as background noise. But, I should probably forewarn you that I put all my music (country and christian) in the queue and that I had had it on random... so it was not playing in any order I put it.... it was playing on its own. So, then the songs switched.....
Its funny how God works.... First song that really caught my attention-- From the Inside Out by Hillsong United. Great great song with great great lyrics! "A thousand times I've failed, Still your mercy remains. And should I stumble again, Still I'm caught in your grace. Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame. My heart and my soul, Lord I give you control, Consume me from the inside out..." That basically was what He first used to smack me across my face-- I have to be consumed with Him from core of who I am, heart and soul. When I let other things consume my life, I am just setting myself up to be unhappy and setting myself up to faill to see Him and His glory and goodness in my life. After that song, it switched to the next one. He is still working in funny ways... The song to come on was It Is Well. "Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul....Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul." I love that song. I kept restarting it and listened to it a few times before letting Lala move on to the next song. Next song... Who Am I by Casting Crowns. "I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And you've told me who I am. I am yours." So at this point I am thinking that no matter what happens with school, life, etc, it is all good because its all part of God's will and and no matter what I may do and no matter how I may fall short, I am His child and it is well. Good.. my evening was starting to get so much better because of my renewed focus on what really matters.
Its funny how God keeps working.... The next song to come on was Francesca Battistelli's Free to Be Me. "At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream. A wars already waged for my destiny, but You've already won the battle and You've got great plans for me. Though I can’t always see ‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender... Got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy, but on Your shoulders I can see, I'm free to be me. When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out; My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow. But things don't always come that easy and sometimes I would doubt ‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender... Got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy, but on Your shoulders I can see, I'm free to be me... Sometimes I believe that I can do anything yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring. But You look at my heart and You tell me that I've got all You seek and it’s easy to believe...I'm free to be me" So still getting better! Its crazy how great God is! I must be His all-consumed child, I am free to be the person He has created me to be, and no matter what life throws my way or how far short of His glory I fall, I am his and it is all well with my soul. He was not finished though.... He threw in Jars of Clay's Two Hands... just to make sure I got his message. "I use one hand to pull closer, the other to push you away. If I had two hands doing the same thing, Lifted high, lifted high... And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation of our souls and if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts we’ll lose control and it feels like giving in. It feels like starting over. It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming. It feels like a brand new day. Open your eyes... because if I had two hands doing the same thing....Lifted High Lifted High" Yes. I am getting this message. Very clearly.
Finally, as I am typing this... Go Tell It by Lee McDerment just came on..."Go tell it on the mountain, Over the hills and everywhere. Go tell it on the mountain....." Its funny how He brings amazing peace and comfort when you least expect it but most need it. Its amazing how He puts you right where He wants you and not where you expected to be. Its funny how God works......
I can say with assurance... I got His message. and I'm still thinking.... its funny how God works....
Its funny how God works.... First song that really caught my attention-- From the Inside Out by Hillsong United. Great great song with great great lyrics! "A thousand times I've failed, Still your mercy remains. And should I stumble again, Still I'm caught in your grace. Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame. My heart and my soul, Lord I give you control, Consume me from the inside out..." That basically was what He first used to smack me across my face-- I have to be consumed with Him from core of who I am, heart and soul. When I let other things consume my life, I am just setting myself up to be unhappy and setting myself up to faill to see Him and His glory and goodness in my life. After that song, it switched to the next one. He is still working in funny ways... The song to come on was It Is Well. "Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul....Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul." I love that song. I kept restarting it and listened to it a few times before letting Lala move on to the next song. Next song... Who Am I by Casting Crowns. "I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And you've told me who I am. I am yours." So at this point I am thinking that no matter what happens with school, life, etc, it is all good because its all part of God's will and and no matter what I may do and no matter how I may fall short, I am His child and it is well. Good.. my evening was starting to get so much better because of my renewed focus on what really matters.
Its funny how God keeps working.... The next song to come on was Francesca Battistelli's Free to Be Me. "At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream. A wars already waged for my destiny, but You've already won the battle and You've got great plans for me. Though I can’t always see ‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender... Got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy, but on Your shoulders I can see, I'm free to be me. When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out; My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow. But things don't always come that easy and sometimes I would doubt ‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender... Got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy, but on Your shoulders I can see, I'm free to be me... Sometimes I believe that I can do anything yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring. But You look at my heart and You tell me that I've got all You seek and it’s easy to believe...I'm free to be me" So still getting better! Its crazy how great God is! I must be His all-consumed child, I am free to be the person He has created me to be, and no matter what life throws my way or how far short of His glory I fall, I am his and it is all well with my soul. He was not finished though.... He threw in Jars of Clay's Two Hands... just to make sure I got his message. "I use one hand to pull closer, the other to push you away. If I had two hands doing the same thing, Lifted high, lifted high... And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation of our souls and if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts we’ll lose control and it feels like giving in. It feels like starting over. It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming. It feels like a brand new day. Open your eyes... because if I had two hands doing the same thing....Lifted High Lifted High" Yes. I am getting this message. Very clearly.
Finally, as I am typing this... Go Tell It by Lee McDerment just came on..."Go tell it on the mountain, Over the hills and everywhere. Go tell it on the mountain....." Its funny how He brings amazing peace and comfort when you least expect it but most need it. Its amazing how He puts you right where He wants you and not where you expected to be. Its funny how God works......
I can say with assurance... I got His message. and I'm still thinking.... its funny how God works....
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is possibly my favorite holiday of the year... if not my favorite, it is tied with Christmas. Its a wonderful holiday to tell the people in your life just how thankful you are for them and to remind yourself all the many blessings in life. It is a holiday that really makes me think and reflect on my own life and how many wonderful, great, and amazing things and people that are in my life. I have so much to be thankful for. In the days and week leading up to thanksgiving, I find my mind turning to the holiday and really focusing on everything in my life that makes it great and special, especially the people I am so blessed to call my family and friends. As I did last year on Thanksgiving, I am continuing the tradition below with a list of things I am most thankful for. As usual, they are not in any particular order, except the first one. The first is the most important thing/aspect of my life, because with out Him, I would be nothing!
1. Jesus Christ- My faith is truly the core of who I am. I am not perfect by any means (very far from it...), but when I waver, wander, or stumble, and fall far short of His glory (on a daily basis), He remains steadfast and faithful. As one song says "Amazing grace, its more than just a song"-- I can say without a doubt that is the truth. His grace and mercy are unending, His love is unfailing, and for that I am forever thankful!
2. My family- They are always there for me. They rejoice and celebrate with me in the good times and they are always there to pick me up when I fall. Incredible people who love me for who I am, even when I am being hard to love.
3. My Friends- My friends are the ones who know everything about me and love me just the same. They are there for me when times are great (like my birthday just last week) to the bad times when I feel like my world is falling apart and crumbling around me. There is some quote that says something along the lines of friends are the family that we get to choose. I do consider my friends to be as close as family and I love them like family, but I did not choose them. God has put each and every last one of them into my life for a reason. Each one has had an impact on my life and forever changed me. I can not say thank you enough to my friends for always being there and remind them that I love them dearly! Y'all make my life so much brighter!!
4. The amazing guy I am dating.... Six months ago I would have never guessed that I would be in a relationship, but I am! The more and more I get to know him, the more and more incredible I think he is! He is so sweet to me and very supportive of me and my dreams, and even seems to tolerate the fact that my life has been taken over with school work these past few weeks! It is an unexpected blessing that I am very thankful for!
5. My dream is becoming my reality- It hit me this summer just before starting my last year of school that finishing school would mean my life long dream of being an architect is truly becoming my reality! Finishing this semester, my comprehensive studio, is a HUGE hurdle that will soon be done! (2 weeks!!!!) Its hard to believe in one more semester and one more summer, I will be done with school. Forever. I have loved my time at Clemson, but I am looking forward to having something that sort of resembles a life. Yet, I would not trade all the struggles, late nights, crazy reviews, stress, and shear emotion because this dream is so worth all of that!
6. Freedom. Here I am spending time with my family for Thanksgiving while around the world, our United States service men and women are protecting our freedom this holiday. Thank you to all of you who protect our country!
1. Jesus Christ- My faith is truly the core of who I am. I am not perfect by any means (very far from it...), but when I waver, wander, or stumble, and fall far short of His glory (on a daily basis), He remains steadfast and faithful. As one song says "Amazing grace, its more than just a song"-- I can say without a doubt that is the truth. His grace and mercy are unending, His love is unfailing, and for that I am forever thankful!
2. My family- They are always there for me. They rejoice and celebrate with me in the good times and they are always there to pick me up when I fall. Incredible people who love me for who I am, even when I am being hard to love.
3. My Friends- My friends are the ones who know everything about me and love me just the same. They are there for me when times are great (like my birthday just last week) to the bad times when I feel like my world is falling apart and crumbling around me. There is some quote that says something along the lines of friends are the family that we get to choose. I do consider my friends to be as close as family and I love them like family, but I did not choose them. God has put each and every last one of them into my life for a reason. Each one has had an impact on my life and forever changed me. I can not say thank you enough to my friends for always being there and remind them that I love them dearly! Y'all make my life so much brighter!!
4. The amazing guy I am dating.... Six months ago I would have never guessed that I would be in a relationship, but I am! The more and more I get to know him, the more and more incredible I think he is! He is so sweet to me and very supportive of me and my dreams, and even seems to tolerate the fact that my life has been taken over with school work these past few weeks! It is an unexpected blessing that I am very thankful for!
5. My dream is becoming my reality- It hit me this summer just before starting my last year of school that finishing school would mean my life long dream of being an architect is truly becoming my reality! Finishing this semester, my comprehensive studio, is a HUGE hurdle that will soon be done! (2 weeks!!!!) Its hard to believe in one more semester and one more summer, I will be done with school. Forever. I have loved my time at Clemson, but I am looking forward to having something that sort of resembles a life. Yet, I would not trade all the struggles, late nights, crazy reviews, stress, and shear emotion because this dream is so worth all of that!
6. Freedom. Here I am spending time with my family for Thanksgiving while around the world, our United States service men and women are protecting our freedom this holiday. Thank you to all of you who protect our country!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Time is flying by....
This year (and this semester for that matter) is flying by..... where is the time going!?!?!
Seems like just yesterday I was celebrating new years by banging pots and pans on the front porch by myself because my family was already asleep....
It seems like just yesterday I was spending my valentines day with two of my closest friends.... having what turned out to be the greatest valentines to date!
Spring was my best friend's wedding... fast forward to the summer... starting off with Sarah Boyd's baptism, lazy days at the lake, family vacation to the mountains, my big trip across the big pond....starting my last year of school...Fall. I met an incredible guy who keeps totally rocking my socks off and has me excited to see where our relationship goes..... Sarah Boyd's First Birthday (and Chad's 30th Birthday).
Now here we are. A little more than two weeks from Thanksgiving (one of my favorite holidays because I have SO much to be thankful for!), 3 weeks from my final review, 4 weeks from exam week... and then Christmas break! Where has this semester gone? It is flying by!
They say time flies when you are having fun... I am clearly having a LOTS of fun! I am so blessed to have incredible friends and family who I totally dont deserve but love more than I can ever let them know, I have this great opportunity to pursue my dream of being an architect, and I totally love living each day full on and all out!!! Life is great!
Here are a few recent pictures....Sarah Boyd's birthday party!! In the next few weeks I will be doing different things and get more pictures! :-)
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